“Are You Darth Vader?”
For the zillionth time again last night, I woke up my husband in the middle of the night by pulling on his C-Pap mask and asking him what it was. Yep, I’m a sleep walker and talker. I am sure I need a sleep study myself. What’s even weirder is that he’s had this machine to help him breathe while he’s sleeping for nearly 20 years, and I’m completely used to it, but when I’m in my weird zone, I am always rediscovering it.
Bill is a great sport. One year in, he was annoyed. Five years in, he was more annoyed. Ten years, and he began truly embracing the humor in it. Still annoyed, but kind of used to it. Today he is still mildly amused whenever it happens.
What is really kind of amazing is experiencing the shift over time in how he relates to me. What may have seemed like a big, annoying deal 20 years ago has become something we both laugh about. Some of our best memories now started out as ridiculous, dramatic arguments we had years and years ago.
Time Didn’t Do This
Time, patience, persistence and growth did this. Plus the fact that we both have a sense of humor. (At least we think so.) I think it has alot to do with recognizing that not only are we not perfect, but the imperfections are kind of the good stuff. The way a little pebble becomes a pearl when it irritates the oyster’s insides long enough. 20 years is enough to turn a very annoying trait into a hilarious and only slightly annoying characteristic
Margie Wheelhouse is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist in Springfield, Illinois. She helps couples build great relationships and repair broken ones.