If you are hurting…
Grief can be an incredibly confusing and lonely time in your life. The unbearable pain of wanting to see your loved one is the biggest part, but there is even more. If you don’t know know where to turn, if you feel like nobody understands, or if you just can’t seem to get back into your life, you may find that counseling can help.
Grief counseling can be one good step to help you sort through the confusion, pain, numbness and everything a loss brings. You are not alone.
Have you had thoughts like these?
* nobody understands
* everybody’s acting normally
* I can’t believe the things people say
* others seem to be avoiding me
* people act weird around me
* nobody will talk about him (or her)
* I can’t seem to get over it
* I don’t feel normal
* the rest of the world is going on and I can’t
* I am so angry!
Sometimes it seems that society, our friends, coworkers, even our families just aren’t ready or able to acknowledge or understand what to do when someone dies. What could be worse than losing someone you love so much? Sometimes the world seems to act as if it never even happened.
How can grief counseling help?
Sometimes it’s hard to imagine how counseling can be of any help. Of course no one can take away the pain of your loss, so why even go? But it is sometimes surprising how many other things can be made lighter through the counseling process.
In fact, not being under pressure to feel better can be one of them. Everyone has their own timetable for finding their way after the death of someone they love. If you feel like others want you to be the “same old” you, that can be an added burden.
An additional way therapy can help is to allow you to untangle and understand the many facets of your life that are impacted. For some it’s the difficulty of dealing with well-meaning friends or family. For others it’s the deep loneliness that can hit you whether you are in a crowded room or home by yourself. You may feel like you have lost yourself.
What I won’t do
I will not tell you how to feel. Nor will I try to “teach” you how to grieve. I won’t judge you. There is plenty of information out there, and much of it is helpful. But sometimes it seems like the books and articles are focused on “grief” when what you’re really thinking about is the person who died. Your mind and heart are focused on the empty spots, the future that’s suddenly changed, or the strange land that used to feel like your life.
Things Nobody Told You
It’s not uncommon to feel very unprepared for the huge changes and problems that come along with someone dying. For many couples, for example, a death can put a big strain on marriage. Some people feel so overwhelmed by it they wind up seeking divorce. It’s not inevitable, but there are some rocky times that different grieving styles can cause. Other painful things people might not expect are feeling disconnected from people you have been close to, even your own kids at times. Or the guilt that can come from doing ordinary daily activities.
If you want help, I’m here.
I can join you as you sort through this time in your life, and support you when you are looking for something or someone to help you through this. You won’t have to commit to coming more than once if it’s not for you. Everyone’s different. I may help you find some resources that would be helpful.
What If It’s Been A Long Time?
There is no time limit on grief. I will never judge you for hurting over the loss of someone you love whether it was two months ago or two decades (or five!). We all have our own timetable, and sometimes we’re criticized if we don’t seem to be getting back to “normal” soon enough. It can make it even harder if it’s been a very long time. But I promise to respect your loss and your pain no matter how long it’s been. People are irreplaceable. No amount of time can take away the loss. Yet there are ways to get back into life in a meaningful way that can help you feel more connected, more energetic, more like yourself. If you’d like to explore those possibilities, please call me or schedule an appointment online.
Is it time to call?
If it’s hard to get out of bed, hard to focus on work, or you just don’t know if you will ever feel like you again, then you might try a session or two. If you find it helps, then you can decide whether continuing with counseling makes sense for you.