For some people, being single feels worse during the holidays. One reasons is likely the number of get-togethers. From Thanksgiving Dinner all the way through to New Year’s Day brunches, there is a lot going on. If you don’t like going alone to one cook-out pool party in July, then November through January can be […]
What’s a Love Language and Why You Should Care
Hidden Misunderstandings It’s possible you can love someone and they don’t feel it. Or vice versa. This can be hard to understand, and too often we find out years, decades, a whole lifetime too late. The idea is captured in a popular book titled “Five Love Languages,” by author Gary Chapman. It’s a great tool for […]
Are You Being Gaslighted?
It Starts With A Lie Have you ever felt like someone was trying to cover up a lie by making you think you were crazy? It could be a friend, a spouse, a coworker, or anyone you deal with on a regular basis. Did it make you question yourself? Deliberately trying to make someone think […]
What’s Wrong With Date Night
The Set Up It seems like a no-brainer, doesn’t it? Just set up a time to go on a date and you’ll inject some much needed fun into your relationship. “Hey, let’s go to our favorite restaurant and not worry about the kids!” The problem is, you may wind up talking about the kids, or […]
Worried That You’re Not “In Love” With Your Spouse?
“I love him, but I’m not ‘in love’ with him.” It’s something I hear fairly often in my therapy office. So what? Is my reply. Okay, not really. I promise never to say “so what?” to anyone when they tell me their feelings. But to some degree, that’s what I feel like saying, because, really, […]
Your Intentions Are Irrelevant
First Things First If your best friend reaches across the table for the salt and pokes you in the eye, does your eye hurt any less because it was an accident? Are you more likely to yell “OW!” or to say “WHY did you do that?!” Sure, you might say something a lot stronger than […]
When You’re Scared of Being Hurt
Keep getting more of what you fear? It’s not a coincidence. We generally go where we’re aiming. If your eyes are on it, that’s where you’re headed. Ever heard someone say “Don’t look down”? That’s because looking down might increase the chances of heading that way. What do you fear? Do you fear being… alone? […]
Think You’re An Expert on Your Spouse?
How well do you know your spouse? If you answered “very well,” that could be good news. Unless, of course, you are mostly an expert on what’s wrong with your spouse. People who come into my office are often unable to get through hard times in their relationship. Sometimes a big part of the problem […]
What Not To Do When You’re Caught Cheating
I’m Caught, What Now? If you’ve been caught red handed in an affair, you might be at the beginning of a way better life. Or you could be starting patterns that will make your life and your family’s lives a nightmare. It’s not all up to you, but a lot of it is. What I’m […]
Is Your Partner’s ADHD Driving You Nuts?
It’s easy to love someone with ADHD when you don’t live with them. But when your life partner has it, it’s a different deal. When I work with couples in counseling, sometimes I bump into this. Arguments, resentments, power struggles and distance can sometimes be traced to undiagnosed or misunderstood ADHD. How many of these […]