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Margie Therapy

What is your argument REALLY about?

November 12, 2022 by Margie Wheelhouse

Why do we keep having stupid arguments? Death by a thousand cuts – that’s what those recurring, seemingly insignificant arguments might be doing to your relationship. Clients so often tell me, “We argue about the stupidest things!” Well, maybe. Or, maybe what you are actually arguing about is something else, something important, but you are […]

Filed Under: Communication, Counseling/Therapy, Marriage, Relationships, Uncategorized

Tell-Tale Signs Of Trouble: Predicting Divorce

July 11, 2019 by Margie Wheelhouse

Tell Tale Signs of Divorce

It’s not that hard to predict divorce. It’s actually fairly easy.  What’s hard is recognizing when you are in the “danger zone” and, harder still, to do something about it.  Just because you have the symptoms of a troubled marriage does not mean there is no cure.  Couples therapy, workshops, retreats, books, and even helpful […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage, Relationships

What’s a Love Language and Why You Should Care

November 7, 2018 by Margie Wheelhouse

Hidden Misunderstandings It’s possible you can love someone and they don’t feel it.  Or vice versa. This can be hard to understand, and too often we find out years, decades, a whole lifetime too late. The idea is captured in a popular book titled “Five Love Languages,” by author Gary Chapman.  It’s a great tool for […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: communication, Couples, marriage, Relationships

What’s Wrong With Date Night

April 7, 2018 by Margie Wheelhouse

The Set Up It seems like a no-brainer, doesn’t it?  Just set up a time to go on a date and you’ll inject some much needed fun into your relationship.  “Hey, let’s go to our favorite restaurant and not worry about the kids!”  The problem is, you may wind up talking about the kids, or […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships

Think You’re An Expert on Your Spouse?

August 15, 2017 by Margie Wheelhouse

How well do you know your spouse? If you answered “very well,” that could be good news.  Unless, of course, you are mostly an expert on what’s wrong with your spouse. People who come into my office are often unable to get through hard times in their relationship.  Sometimes a big part of the problem […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships

What Not To Do When You’re Caught Cheating

May 16, 2017 by Margie Wheelhouse

I’m Caught, What Now? If you’ve been caught red handed in an affair, you might be at the beginning of a way better life.  Or you could be starting patterns that will make your life and your family’s lives a nightmare.  It’s not all up to you, but a lot of it is.  What I’m […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships

Is Your Partner’s ADHD Driving You Nuts?

May 8, 2017 by Margie Wheelhouse

It’s easy to love someone with ADHD when you don’t live with them. But when your life partner has it, it’s a different deal. When I work with couples in counseling, sometimes I bump into this.  Arguments, resentments, power struggles and distance can sometimes be traced to undiagnosed or misunderstood ADHD. How many of these […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships

When Your Husband Won’t Come To Counseling

March 31, 2017 by Margie Wheelhouse

Are You The Only One Trying? You know it’s bad when one person in a relationship seems to be doing all the work.  How frustrating to know in your bones that life could be happier if only you could get some cooperation.  On the other hand, maybe your husband won’t come to counseling. What to […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage, Relationships

How Porn Can Starve Your Marriage

March 21, 2017 by Margie Wheelhouse

A Closer Look At Porn If we take away the secrecy, shame and moral tut-tutting about porn, we can actually look at it.  I don’t mean look at it, literally.  That’s up to you.  I mean look at how it plays out in our society, in relationships, and in marriage. I used to be a […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: intimacy, marriage, porn, sex

When You Have Nothing To Talk About

March 2, 2017 by Margie Wheelhouse

Tired of Talking About What To Have For Dinner? You hear plenty of talk about how sex sometimes goes downhill in marriage.  But not enough is said about conversation.  This problem of having “nothing to talk about” was summed up really well in an episode of Seinfeld, in which Kramer explained to Jerry the pitfalls […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: communication, conversation

Are You Too Selfish in your Relationship?

January 18, 2017 by Margie Wheelhouse

Is fear of being seen as “selfish” keeping you from a healthy relationship? Often times we know exactly what we want, but we are very afraid.  We’re afraid of being rejected, of being criticized, or of being alone. The worst part about this is that we are right. I may very well not get what […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships

Is an Emotional Affair Considered Infidelity?

November 10, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

The Emotional Affair Somehow the word “emotional” in front of the word “affair,” for some people, adds a kind of buffer. Sort of like “emotional abuse” is still abuse.  Even though nothing physical happens, an emotional affair can do major damage to a person. In fact, like with emotional abuse, emotional affairs can be even […]

Filed Under: Marriage

Everything Old Is New Again

November 10, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

Have you ever had the feeling that you know everything there is to know about your husband (boyfriend, wife, whatever)?  What if there was a magic potion you could take to reverse that?  To bring a sense of “Vuja De” into your life?  I would define it for you, but it will be more fun […]

Filed Under: Happiness, Marriage, Relationships

Communication Problems Series, Part 4: Stonewalling

October 27, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

Is This You? Have you ever felt like ignoring a problem until it goes away?  It’s a great idea if you have a minor pain, maybe, or a difficult coworker you hardly ever see.  But some problems just get worse and worse.  They multiply like mold growing in a damp place in your home, or […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage Tagged With: communication

Communication Problems Series, Part 3: Contempt

October 20, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

You Can Spot Contempt Easily The eye roll.  It’s probably the biggest indicator that things are not going well in a relationship.  Try it:  look away from the screen, fold your arms, frown, and roll your eyes like you’ve just heard the stupidest thing in the world.  Now what if that “stupidest thing” were your […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage, Relationships

Communication Problems Series, Part 2: Defensiveness

October 13, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

A Sneaky Problem Defensiveness is a big stumbling block to great communication because it’s so sneaky.  You can’t really see it very well unless you’re on the receiving end of it.  When we accidentally hurt someone, it seems so logical to explain how innocent we are.  “I didn’t mean it!”  or “I didn’t mean it […]

Filed Under: Communication, Counseling/Therapy, Marriage, Relationships Tagged With: communication problems

Communication Problems Can Be a Big Threat To Your Relationship

September 19, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

  Communication Problems Create Bigger Problems What We Say (And Don’t Say) Matters If you wonder how big of a deal good communication is, there was a time when a problem in communication almost killed my husband. Well, actually, it was I who almost killed him.  And not really “almost killed,” but “almost didn’t save.” […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage, Relationships

How Yoga Could Fix Your Marriage

August 2, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

Getting To Know Yourself One thing that continues to amaze me in counseling is how consistently people learn new things about themselves. I’ve seen it happen over and over again.  Someone is extremely upset about something, yet they have no idea the depth of what is really wrong. It’s like we are deep, amazing oceans […]

Filed Under: Marriage

Those Little Annoyances

June 17, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

“Are You Darth Vader?” For the zillionth time again last night, I woke up my husband in the middle of the night by pulling on his C-Pap mask and asking him what it was. Yep, I’m a sleep walker and talker. I am sure I need a sleep study myself. What’s even weirder is that […]

Filed Under: Communication, Marriage, Relationships

One Weird Trick to improve your relationship

April 28, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

I’m Not Like Them I hate those click bait things that promise one weird trick.  Mostly because they suggest I need to “flatten my tummy” or “smooth my wrinkles.”  Rude.  I won’t click on anything that insults me. But I do have a trick, although I lied, it’s not weird at all.  It’s just surprisingly […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships

Fighting Over Something Stupid Again?

March 15, 2016 by Margie Wheelhouse

It Seems So Silly People who come to me for couples counseling are so often frustrated because they keep having battles over the dumbest things ever.  Like when something happens and you suddenly feel upset but it looks trivial to the other person.  You try to just let it go, but it keeps coming back. […]

Filed Under: Communication, Happiness, Marriage, Relationships

“We have nothing in common anymore.”

October 21, 2015 by Margie Wheelhouse

What’s The Real Problem? When couples first come in to see me, one of them often diagnoses the problem.  They’ll say “we have nothing in common anymore.”  The idea seems to be that people have “things in common,” at first.  Then when that runs out, the relationship is kind of done.  Makes sense.  When you […]

Filed Under: Marriage, Relationships


Margie Wheelhouse offers couple’s and individual therapy sessions online. She specializes in relationships, as well as support for grief, loss, depression and anxiety.

Online therapy offered throughout Illinois

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