“If nothing changes, nothing changes.” I don’t know who first said that, but it challenges one of the biggest obstacles to a better life: waiting. Some people call it “hope” — hoping things will get better — without a plan. Other people call it fear — holding on to what you have because change sounds […]
Do Marriage Counselors Take Sides?
Taking Sides? How is it possible not to “take sides” when working with a couple in therapy? I get that question from time to time. It’s understandable. If I want to go to a “neutral third party” to work on a problem, the “neutral” part is important. After all, working on a relationship is about […]
Ignoring it Won’t Make it Go Away
There is a time and a place for everything, including ignoring things. Don’t sweat the small stuff. I’ll agree with that. But I definitely do not think “it’s all small stuff.” If you ignore some problems they get bigger and bigger and worse and worse. But it happens so slowly so you don’t even really […]
Counseling for One, Please
One Person In Counseling Can Make A Difference Individual counseling can be a great way to help your relationship. That can mean the one you have now, or the one you are looking for. Why is that? Because you are fully half of every relationship you are in. Make improvements in 50% of a relationship, […]
Can You Do Marriage Counseling Over Skype?
It Happens All The Time It’s not as uncommon as it once was for people to do counseling over the Internet or by phone. In-office sessions are still the norm, but many people are starting to embrace the convenience of telemental health. Sometimes referred to as Skype therapy or online counseling, distance counseling offers some […]
What is Skype Counseling?
What Is It? “Skype Counseling” is what a lot of people call distance counseling. The reason I use the word Skype is that it’s become kind of like “Kleenex” or “Jello.” People use the word Skype to mean face-to-face counseling over the Internet. It’s also called telemental health, online counseling, online therapy, or some other […]
Online Counseling and Phone Therapy — Too Good To Be True?
Hmmmm, not sure? I know some people are skeptical of distance counseling — that is, communicating with a therapist by electronic means instead of in an office. And there are some good reasons for being skeptical. Good therapy is all about trust. Checking someone out, making sure they are trained, licensed and certified, not to […]
Communication Problems Series, Part 2: Defensiveness
A Sneaky Problem Defensiveness is a big stumbling block to great communication because it’s so sneaky. You can’t really see it very well unless you’re on the receiving end of it. When we accidentally hurt someone, it seems so logical to explain how innocent we are. “I didn’t mean it!” or “I didn’t mean it […]
Five Signs Couples Counseling Will Work For You
How Do I Know If Couples Counseling Will Help? Making the decision to pick up the phone and call in a third party to help with your marriage is a pretty big step, and a weird one for many of us. It can feel like defeat. It’s as though asking for help is admitting […]
How To Get Him To Come To Couple’s Counseling
Foot Dragging When couples first come in to me for counseling, it is not unusual for the very first problem to be this: one person doesn’t want to be there. (It’s usually but not always a man, so for clarity’s sake I’ll use a man in this example.) The relationship is not working, something has […]